so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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