he shaved USA in his pubs
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
