lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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