Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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