i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
