Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
