found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
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I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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