I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize