Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
