You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You're a waste of cheezeits
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
