But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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