is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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