ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
