Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
