why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
