At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Two words: nipple clamps
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