so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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