You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
