I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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