Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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