Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
