marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Enjoy the penises
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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