I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Randomize
