he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize