So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
