WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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