We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I believe in your delicious
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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