Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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