Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
