Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
