My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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