4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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