I wannas sexs uuuuu
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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