Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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