so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize