I must be too annoying 4 u.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
