Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
