party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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