I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Im part way to drunk.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
