just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize