The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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