My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
