i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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