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Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER