Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..

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  (517): dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min.. http://tfl.nu/cx5p
  Replies (2) Good night (2068) Bad night (840)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  i may or may not be watching the land before time

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  (404): i may or may not be watching the land before time http://tfl.nu/fmo5
  Replies (40) Good night (7417) Bad night (1010)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm

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  (386): Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm http://tfl.nu/fmji
  Replies (12) Good night (782) Bad night (4342)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.

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  (847): You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more. http://tfl.nu/i4ry
  Replies (13) Good night (1915) Bad night (3196)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches

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  (337): we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches http://tfl.nu/7vm5
  Replies (15) Good night (4003) Bad night (619)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online

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  (516): You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online http://tfl.nu/xicc
  Replies (11) Good night (4160) Bad night (1363)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"

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  (708): Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex" http://tfl.nu/sy7y
  Replies (42) Good night (1547) Bad night (14727)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Either way, he made a blog for his cat.

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  (870): Either way, he made a blog for his cat. http://tfl.nu/y9xq
  Replies (4) Good night (1383) Bad night (3568)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?

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  (402): I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category? http://tfl.nu/je1r
  Replies (18) Good night (2993) Bad night (663)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.

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  (678): Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask. http://tfl.nu/uqhe
  Replies (16) Good night (2832) Bad night (763)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....

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  (775): I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets.... http://tfl.nu/2q79
  Replies (12) Good night (1033) Bad night (513)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.

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  (907): Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy. http://tfl.nu/fd5d
  Replies (2) Good night (1467) Bad night (550)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.

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  (330): I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs. http://tfl.nu/h6wa
  Replies (4) Good night (444) Bad night (686)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.

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  (940): I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer. http://tfl.nu/cak3
  Replies (3) Good night (882) Bad night (379)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.

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  (678): My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win. http://tfl.nu/9qeq
  Replies (5) Good night (261) Bad night (422)

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