I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.