Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

my phone cant type all the emotion im having

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(203): my phone cant type all the emotion im having http://tfl.nu/rfn6

Replies (6) Good night (984) Bad night (3599)
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(585): View more from New York

there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer

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(585): there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer http://tfl.nu/kyu0

Replies (7) Good night (1035) Bad night (3961)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

i think i left my bra at your place

(1-901): View more from Tennessee

It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.

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(901): i think i left my bra at your place (1-901): It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there. http://tfl.nu/dg7a

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(661): View more from California

She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro

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(661): She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro http://tfl.nu/m8rk

Replies (31) Good night (1070) Bad night (5965)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

drunk tastebuds have low standards.

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(423): drunk tastebuds have low standards. http://tfl.nu/mx1k

Replies (6) Good night (3751) Bad night (1087)
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(646): View more from New York

Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?

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(646): Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going? http://tfl.nu/kahl

Replies (12) Good night (2510) Bad night (4442)
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(209): View more from California

I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.

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(209): I don't think child baring hips is a compliment. http://tfl.nu/0err

Replies (29) Good night (1339) Bad night (2694)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.

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(336): I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead. http://tfl.nu/ixs0

Replies (4) Good night (2372) Bad night (673)
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(530): View more from California

Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.

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(530): Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking. http://tfl.nu/izw9

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(512): View more from Texas

Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"

(1-512): View more from Texas

Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.

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(512): Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??" (1-512): Yeah no more flaming everclear shots. http://tfl.nu/vc2f

Replies (10) Good night (869) Bad night (1468)
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(815): View more from Illinois

I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.

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(815): I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good. http://tfl.nu/gzj9

Replies (6) Good night (521) Bad night (922)
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(914): View more from New York

I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.

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(914): I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go. http://tfl.nu/xxmp

Replies (2) Good night (954) Bad night (423)
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(310): View more from California

I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.

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(310): I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there. http://tfl.nu/gafs

Replies (3) Good night (895) Bad night (315)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.

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(248): I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade. http://tfl.nu/28nt

Replies (0) Good night (591) Bad night (296)
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(323): View more from California

Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Sure lol what's that?

(323): View more from California

Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Why?

(323): View more from California

Replies (3) Good night (753) Bad night (297)