And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
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the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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