:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN