dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
