Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
grandma shit on top of the toilet
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
pop tarts are not kleenex
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
