Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
