party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
