my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
