wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me