you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
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If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
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I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(