ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic