Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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