Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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