I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
