I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
