Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(804): View more from Virginia

i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life

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(605): View more from South Dakota

I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.

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(775): View more from Nevada

I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet

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(541): View more from Oregon

And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch

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(352): View more from Florida

You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.

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(410): View more from Maryland

Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"

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(864): View more from South Carolina

It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!

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