she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I fill condoms, not promises.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
