From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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