There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
