He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
