okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
