I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Randomize
