im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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