I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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