Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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