i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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