doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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